Mortifications of a Discombobulated Mind

“Bonjour mon amour. J'ai de nouveau la charge avec vous mes réflexions, et à confondre les you.However ce n'est pas mon intention, je veux que tu me connaître mieux” (hello my love. I again charge you with my thoughts, and confuse you. However it is not my intention, I want you to know me better)

I sometimes cogitate as to why are we actually here… I mean our survival continuation our very subsistence. Is it to merely just walk a certain preconceived path called life as we know it; be born work love copulate conceive and finally perish into the annals of history or become another idea in someone’s remembrance.

Why is it that I want more from life than just the basics… is it this eternal greed that consumes my being or a quest to reach a higher level of consciousness, a perception, a realization that; We are not who we say think we are? For we are the mechanics of some larger ruse that we as beings “content within the confines our mundane lives” know not off.

I have this unquenchable thirst to be loved and love profusely, copiously and relentlessly. Is it “normal” or have I become an obsessed muse within a within a muse. I want a union with the world, where I just live to love and be cherished. Alas I am too fickle and capricious for I cannot even return the love of a devoted and untainted love such as yours. What is it that I want? I know not, but this I know its is a chaste an innocent moment with someone anyone and everyone that lasts a lifetime.

We all have so much to give and yet we are more engrossed through out our lives in receiving rather than generously giving. Are we ravenous vultures feeding off unborn generations of emotions and feelings? Or are we simply self-seeking and selfish, beings that would if they could obliterate rather than create.

I want you, I know you are spoken for and it also goes against the very nucleus of my beliefs and virtues, but I can not stop thinking of you. I am entrapped and ensnared, and yet all I wish is for captivity and not freedom from my impasse. I hope I have not passed the wrong verdict on my predicament. However I know this that loving you in this life or another is not my delusion, it’s my song.